Making the Most of Descriptions
by Gail Gaymer Martin
http://www.gailmartin.com

Every fiction reader develops a visual image of the characters in a story and wants to feel a sense of place, imagining the hero or heroine sitting in cozy living room chairs, scurrying through a dark alley, or relaxing in a cutter with the wind blowing through their hair.

Character appearance and setting are important to readers, but good writers want to do more than describe a character’s face or apparel. They want to do more than create a visual picture of where the characters are in the story. Physical appearance and setting can serve a greater purpose by adding depth to the characterization, setting a mood, and serving as allegories for emotion.

Physical Description:

Describing a character is more than hair and eye color, more than broad shoulders and trim waist. Physical description includes clothing and how the character wears them as well as voice quality. These visual element can bring the personality to life and create vivid characterization.

Clothing style, hair or lack of it, and the way the character speaks helps the reader know if the character is eccentric, casual, uptight, prim, belligerent, obnoxious, flamboyant, aggressive, or unorthodox.

In Loving Treasures, a Steeple Hill Love Inspired June 2002 release, Claire, the heroine’s mother-in-law, is an eccentric, yet generous and lovable character. Jemma describes her this way:

When she first met her mother-in-law, Jemma had blinked in surprise at the older woman’s reddish, flyaway hair and her eccentric costume - zebra-stripped spandex pants with a black gauze peasant blouse, right out of the seventies. But Jemma soon learned that Claire’s heart was as lavish and generous as her flamboyant clothing.

The reader learns that the unorthodox clothing reflects Claire’s unorthodox generosity. She’s a woman who would take the blouse off her back and give it to an admirer.

The heroine in Romance By Design finds herself in a business environment where her clothing and jewelry stand out from the crowd. The reader sees her independence as well as her struggle to fit in.

Touching the collar of her bright violet satin blouse, Morgan pressed the flouncy ruffle away from her chin and eyed her purple and pink print skirt. Maybe, she needed to add a business suit to wardrobe.

The hero’s reaction to Morgan’s clothing helps readers understand his high business standards while hinting at a conflict between the two coworkers heading toward romance.

Reaching the table, Morgan’s charm bracelet appeared to be the lesser problem. Hunter stared in disbelief. How could he eat lunch with Buffo the Clown? He gaped at her wild cascade of bright red hair and the huge purple clown ruffle around her neck. Straight simple lines, quiet elegance, that he could handle. The woman seemed an eternal adventure.

Vocal Description:

Describing a voice takes accurate word selection. The way a person speaks can identify his education, geographical origin, and personality. Voices can intimidate, arouse confidence or offend. In the Steeple Hill novel, Upon A Midnight Clear, October 2002, Callie creates an image of her future employer.

A rich baritone voice filled the line, and when Callie heard his commanding tone, she caught her breath. Hamilton’s self-assured manner caught her offguard. His tone intimidated her, and her responses to his questions sounded reticent in her ears.

In A Love for Safekeeping, a Steeple Hill January 2002 release, identifies a high school principal that the reader will find unsupportive and disdainful.

Skylar’s reedy voice attacked her ear as he spoke in confidential tones with Kirk Brown from central office, then glanced toward her with his placating glower.

Creating Mood with Setting:

Setting is more than the location of a novel - city, country, room, or park. It also includes weather, month, year, and time of day. Setting adds authenticity to a story, creates a mood and enhances characterization. Envision a room’s decor - cozy, formal, drab, cheerful, elegant, sparse, or filled with knickknacks. All of these elements help to reflect the room owner’s characterization.

Think of the Gothic suspense with its dark, stormy nights, or a thriller where the heroine finds herself alone in the woods with a killer. Mood is created through lighting and texture of a setting. In Upon A Midnight Clear, Callie arrives at the home where she will be a nurse.

Callie regarded her surroundings as she slid the coat from her shoulders. She stood in a wide hallway graced by a broad, curved staircase and a sparkling crystal chandelier. Two sets of double doors stood closed on the right, and on the left, three more sets of French doors hid the rooms’ interiors, leaving Callie with a sense of foreboding. Were the doors holding something in? Or keeping something out?

Descriptions of weather and nature can become analogies for character emotion as shown in this example.

The spider was still at work and Fran was captured by the beauty of the iridescent threads glinting in the afternoon sunlight. Beautiful, yet distressing. She felt trapped in a web as intricate and lovely as the spider’s.

In Secrets of the Heart, a Love Inspired June 2001 release, the heroine sits in a small café surrounded by flower boxes. An anthology is drawn between the woman’s feelings and flowers.

Voices of other patrons filled her ears, and she gazed at the window boxes nearby filled with contained flowers reaching toward the light. Was she like those restricted blossoms bound in their small compartments, stretching and yearning for the sun?

In the same novel, the heroine’s emotion is shown through weather.

The rain splat against the windshield, running in rivulets like the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

Remember, description can serve a deeper purpose by using it to enhance mood and create depth of character.

Award-winning author Gail Gaymer Martin writes for Steeple Hill and Barbour. Visit her web site at www.gailmartin.com

© 2002 Gail Gaymer Martin