"Boys Will Be Boys"
By Dena Dyer
http://www.denadyer.com

Do you ever find yourself burning with questions that have no answers? Such as:
1 why does my son have trouble closing the toilet lid--yet he can’t open the hamper?

2 why does he “flick” the television channel at the exact moment I become interested in a program?

3 how can an empty ice tray (that I forgot to fill) bug my husband, while his dirty socks are strewn all over the house?

And, most importantly:
1 why in the world are we so different?

In his book Bringing up Boys, Dr. James Dobson says that men “value change, opportunity, risk, speculation and adventure” while a woman’s temperament “lends itself to nurturance, caring, sensitivity, tenderness, and compassion.”
He goes on: “Wouldn’t it be boring if men and women were identical? . . . It just ain’t so, and thank goodness it isn’t.”
God did create us different—for a reason. But how do we survive the daily-ness of living with other human beings (namely, men) who sometimes seem out to get us? As one of my favorite t-shirts says, “This marriage [or family] was made in heaven—but so was thunder and lightning!”

I believe there are three ways we can thrive in family life, even when we’re living with our total opposites.
First, we need to celebrate our differences. Life would be pretty dull without our men. And downright sad, if you ask me. A couple of weeks ago, I left town for a few days to attend a writer’s conference. By the second day, I was so homesick for my spouse and son that I would have put up with mountains of dirty socks, incessant flicking—even a symphony of bodily noises.

Second, we must look for ways we’re similar to the boys in our lives, and build upon those. Are there certain hobbies we could take up that our spouse and/or sons would enjoy?

As I’ve pondered those things that drew my hubby and I together when we were dating—shared callings, talents and values--I’ve tried to rekindle those “sparks” as often as possible. And though I don’t enjoy some of things my son does, I try to stop what I’m doing and enthusiastically partake in his passions when he asks me to. It’s an honor to be asked, and I know it won’t happen forever!

Third, we must affirm men in their uniqueness. This culture has put enormous pressure on their shoulders, and criticism only adds to the load.

I’m blessed to have a husband who shares my faith and my values. He’s also wonderfully romantic and faithfully supports my own dreams and goals. My son is affectionate, creative, smart and hilarious. I could go on, but you get the idea. Now, if I can just say these things out loud once in a while, I’ll be on the right track.

So now I have a few more questions:

3 when was the last time you complimented your husband or son?

2 how long has it been since you participated in their passions?
And, most importantly:

1 do you know a good place to hide the remote control?

Dena Dyer is a writer, singer, actress and speaker who has had short stories, articles, book reviews, poems and devotionals published in over 100 magazines, including Woman’s World, Today’s Christian Woman, Spirit-Led Woman, Brio, HomeLife and Discipleship Journal. She is a regular columnist for SHINE magazine and has contributed to several books, including Rest Stops for Busy Moms (B & H, 2003) and God’s Little Devotional Book for Grandparents (Honor, 2003). Dena makes her home in Granbury, Texas, with her son (Jordan, 4) and performer/producer hubby (Carey, 31 but a child at heart). For more information, visit her website at: http://www.denadyer.com and read her blog at www.denadyer.typepad.com.